Solitude, enjoy it while it lasts!

Photo by Ron Lach on

Solitude can sometimes be scary for people, and it certainly was for me. Not having someone there for you in life can seem unimaginable. However, from someone who has been alone for a long time.

I can say that, it is truly a gift.

A little back story.

In my experience, when I was in a relationship, I was hyper focused on the other party. My needs took a back seat and to be honest, it was the wrong choice I made.

I had a strong feeling that my life was slowly deteriorating. It was clear that I was blinded or poisoned by love (to be honest I would not call that love, love should be a balanced exchange of energy and compassion. Grounded in understanding, devoid of excessive ego and control).

Fundamentally, that suffering had come from:
⦁ Lack of self-worth.
⦁ Not believing in the fact that someone would actually love me.
⦁ Fear and insecurity about whether I’m doing the right thing at every moment.

However, in August 2016, that person disappeared and I was left by myself.

One thing I am grateful for is that, we didn’t fight or disagree. We simply came to the conclusion that we weren’t right for each other, which perfectly fine with me.

Having a mutual agreement when splitting up is important. Even though we had our differences, I’m grateful for the moment of time that I spent with her.

Even though I’m alone at the moment, I consider it a blessing in disguise.

Now back to the main point of this post.

There are at least a couple of reasons why you should appreciate solitude:

No judgement, you’re exposed to your own judgement to resolve.

When there’s no one around you, you only have your own mind to listen to. Therefore, you get a real chance to truly define what’s valuable to you.

When we introspect on our lives:

  • We see what’s working and what’s not.
  • What we love and what we hate.
  • Our mistakes show themselves
  • We’re able to see how far we’ve come in life.

We get a chance to figure out what true love actually looks like and means to us.

When we’re clear on these things, we can attract the right people into our lives. Who will align to us in the most beautiful way.

Understand your true potential as an individual.

In my experience, i only really understood my true potential after that breakup. Before that, i would base my entire life goals around that person. I was willing to jump into an unfulfilling career.

It was only after she left and I was left on my own, that i started discovering what I was really made of.

Once I fixated myself on the larger vision and set actionable goals that would fulfil me, I didn’t really think about the fact that she’s not there. However, I had focused on the person I could become and the potential that I had.

Focusing my energy instead on making a positive dent in this world.

I learnt in solitude that:

A larger vision of life will fill you with so much inspiration and love, we begin to see the sweetness in life. Even when everything looks bitter.

Solitude will help you figure what life is really made of, helping you discover the undiscovered gems within you.

You get filled with joy and see life as simply sharing that joy with others, instead of extracting it out of them.

Thank you for reading, and I hope I’ve at least given a better perspective on solitude.

To whoever’s out there reading this,

If you are alone, use the time to cultivate a relationship with your self. Write or rewrite the script for the life you’d like to create. When someone comes, you’re ready to evolve together.

Thank you.

By Kunaal Bakrania

An individual passionate about developing mental and emotional resilience in daily life. Through my experience and knowledge, I'm on a mission to help others cultivate strength within themselves and create a life of true fulfilment.


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